If you were a regular reader of this blog at some point, you might have been curious about the rather abrupt cessation of posts; the most recent of which is dated more than two years ago!
I’m not even sure what compelled me to sit down and post this today, and not 6 months ago, or a year ago for that matter.
The situation is this: Before I stopped posting on this blog and others, my health had been slowly deteriorating for a number of years. At times I was so sick I didn’t leave the house for weeks one end. Even months.
For a long time, at least three years, I had no idea what was happening to me. I was in pain, pissed off, and scared shitless. Here I am, a young man not yet 30 years old – who’s entire life and livelihood revolves around being healthy and teaching other people how to be healthy – and I literally felt like I was dying.
I couldn’t eat. My appetite was completely gone. I was experiencing unrelenting nausea during most of my waking hours, which soon developed into more severe stomach pain, intense panic attacks, along with a whole host of other symptoms.
I tried my best to keep up my business. As I got sicker my appointments got harder to keep. Eventually my clients were getting irritated with the number of times I had re-sceduled sessions. I remember trying to keep my voice from trembling when I had to call one of my favourite clients yet again, and move her appointment due to ‘car trouble’ or whatever my excuse of the day was. In reality I was pulled over to the side of the road retching and having a panic attack; but that was the last thing I wanted to tell her. I was so terrified of what she would think of me.
I had this story playing in my head that if my clients found out what was really going on with me, I would be exposed as some kind of phoney or fraud and I would lose all my business and not be able to pay my medical bills and support my family, and so on. After all, who in their right mind would take health advice from someone so obviously un-healthy?!
Well, it happened anyway. I lost nearly all of my clients, my business plummeted, and I felt ruined. I was trying to keep afloat just hoping that one day soon my luck would turn around and I would be healthy enough to start working with clients again. Unfortunately, that day hasn’t come yet, but I hope it soon will.
However, I was finally given a diagnoses of Crohn’s disease – an autoimmune disorder that attacks the gastrointestinal system.
Today I am still very much fighting the effects of the disease – as I will for my entire life – but thanks to the support of my wife, my great doctor, and my family and friends, at this time it looks like I’m finally starting to gain the upper hand on this situation.
Realistically, with how slow my progress has been, I don’t imagine I will be able to get back to blogging or writing anytime soon. I take on a few private consulting gigs here and there when at all possible, but for at least the next year you can expect that I won’t be adding new content to any of my blogs and websites.
With that being said, I’m taking my own advice – advice that I’ve given to clients so many times before, and making my health priority number one. I hope you will all do the same.
All my best,